There are so many things that I want to say to you. I want to say Thank You, I’m Sorry and I love you. I watched you preform the most magical act I have ever seen. You transformed into a strong cocoon, blossomed and released a beautiful butterfly, made from your own flesh. And for that I am forever grateful.

So I say Thank You. Thank you for bringing heaven to earth, in the form a sweet little angel named Elliott Grace and Lark Edith. I used to believe that miracles rarely ever happened, and that I would never experience one of my own. And then I watched a miracle unfold right before my eyes. It was not always easy, and some days I wished it all was over, but I would never trade this precious gift for anything in the world.

I’m sorry, I am sorry for wasting so much time wishing you looked different. I am sorry for all of the horrible things I said about you, while you were transforming in order to grow my baby girl. I am sorry for not appreciating you more. When I look at you, I see a beautiful road map, with evidence of the amazing journeys you have gone on. Stretching and moving, changing to fit my little angel.

I love you. Even with all of the “flaws” , I love you. You have amazed me for months now. You have done some of the most incredible acts and you took it all in strides. You have shown me just how strong you are, and how strong I am. You have given me grace in my times of change. When I felt like I couldn’t go on, you proved to me that I can. You stood firm and protected me from not one, but two falls. I never appreciated you as much as I do now. I promise to take better care of you, and allow you the grace you have shown me. You will never be the same way you were before this amazing journey, but I am so grateful for you now.

When I run my fingers over you, I can feel every mark, every stretch and it takes me back to those first days. The first time I felt that little bump. The first time I heard my little girls racing heartbeat. The first time I felt my baby move inside of me. You are my constant reminder of where you have been, and while these marks may fade, my memory of your selflessness will not.

To my postpartum body,

Thank you, I am Sorry, I love you 💕