I….had a bad day.

You woke up to eat at two a. m. and then again at five a.m. By seven thirty you were up for the day. I was already exhausted. We had to be out of the house by nine thirty for Stroller Strides, our mommy and me workout group. We were running late, and when I got half way to class, I realized I didn’t have my stroller. A pretty important tool needed for STROLLER strides. By the time we got to class we only had fifteen minutes left of the class. By eleven a.m we headed home.

You cried the ENTIRE way home. Like scream crying. I could feel the twinge of a headache coming on. When we got home I feed you. More like I wrestled a greasy pig and tried to force a bottle into your crying mouth. You finally succumbed and drank your bottle. But it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. So I warmed you up another bottle. You screamed the whole four minutes it took.

My head hurt, it felt like someone was wringing my brain out like a wet washcloth. Your bottle was finally ready, and you drank another two ounces. I wondered where you put all this milk, in such a little body. I started to burp you. You DID NOT like that. And you let me know. The big gas bubble in your belly finally made its way out of your belly.

You fell asleep.

Just as I felt myself relax, I remembered I had to drop stuff off at work.

I rushed to get ready, hoping to not wake you up.

As I was brushing my teeth, it happened.

You. Woke. Up.

I tired to soothe you back to sleep. But no success.

I gave you your WubbaNub hoping that would satiate you. NOPE.

You cried for twenty minutes while I finished getting ready.

The tiny monster inside my head began construction on my brain, jackhammering ferociously.

We got in the car, I had hoped this would lull you to sleep.

It did.

Finally some peace and quiet.

As we got closer to my work I realized I forgot all the stuff I was suppose to drop off.

How could I forget AGAIN?

I turned around and headed back home.

I cried the entire way home. I felt dumb.

After driving back home, grabbing my things. Back to my work. Which took over three hours. We headed home for the day.

Traffic was terrible. You cried the whole time. My headache grew.

When we got home you fought sleep. Hard. I sat on the couch with you in my lap. And we both cried. Again.

I doubted that I could do this. I doubted my ability to stay patient. I thought I was such a bad mom because I couldn’t soothe you.

I called your father, and yelled at him. For nothing in particular. I just needed to yell.

I told him “sometimes being a mom just sucks”

He rushed home to help me. He put you to sleep and I instantly fell asleep on the couch.

When I awoke, my headache subsided, you were sleeping peacefully in your crib.

I stood and watched you breath. You looked like a little angel.

I had a bad day.

But at least I got to spend it with you.